Well, it's definitely a Monday today. In a word, shi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-t!

Oh, wait, that's right, I called in sick yesterday, so it's actually Tuesday. Damn. You know it's gonna be a rough week when Tuesday feels like Monday because Monday was so heinously crappy that you couldn't even face life in the absence of a bourbon i.v. and an endless supply of Milano cookies. But, hey, that also means that there's one less day until Friday. Cold comfort, I know.

I was thinking today (an amazing feat in and of itself, I know) about what I really want out of life. I mean, what do I reeeeeaaaaaaallllllllyyy want more than practically everything else besides an 80-year-long continuous orgasm? And would 80 years really be enough? How long would it take to recover from that? I mean, why stop at 80 if you're pretty sure you're going to be dead by the time you're ready to go again? But I digress.....

What Joel (Dr. J, thank you) wants:
1. A big chocolate cake and 4 hours to eat it before anyone else even knows it's there.
2. Summa dat nub we's all wookin fo.
3. Lil' bit modat sweet, sweet nubbin.
4. To achieve 75 mpg with my Hyundai Santa Fe on 250 consecutive fill-ups.
5. All of the glory and fame of winning a nationally significant Supreme Court case, without having to actually do any of that tedious junk like preparation, preliminary appeals, answering picky questions from Justices, etc. You know, WORK.
6. Once I wanna just see that friggin Publishers Clearinghouse Prize Van! It doesn't even have to be coming to my house, I just wanna see the thing.

That's enough of that for right now. Maybe more later, if I feel like it.

Question: If you have an idea about something that is merely a filament of your imagination, does the light bulb over your head burn brighter or dimmer?
Nudder Question: Does it depend on what the wattage of said filament is?

Adieu pour maintenant!